The True Cost of Beauty

“Embrace and love your body. It’s the most amazing thing you will ever own.”

As a blogger it is our job to be the Guinea pig for all of your style, beauty, skincare, haircare, etc. needs/wants/questions. With that in mind we risk our own skin, hair, and sense of good fashion to try out the “latest and greatest” trend. While we know this is the catch to being a blogger, we do it anyway because we truly want to provide the best reviews of products or experiences with products for our readers. However, at what point do we draw the line for new products or trends? Where do we say no, I won’t try that because I can just tell it won’t benefit me?

From eyelash extensions to hair extensions to dip powder nails and everything in between, any altering service can and will have some harmful effects to your natural self. Think about it for a minute. Hair extensions put unnecessary tension, stress and pressure on your hair. Eyelash extensions are GLUED onto your own natural eyelashes. Dip powder nails regardless of being considered “better” than acrylic, are really no different. They deprive your nails of oxygen and weaken them over time.

As a new blogger (and a woman who loves all things beauty/fashion), I admit I’ve fallen victim to such services as well. I’ve seen other extremely successful bloggers have false eyelashes, hair extensions, nails always done, fake tans, microbladed eyebrows…the list goes on. I felt that the only way to make it in this world of blogging is to have this picture perfect image of everything always being “done”. I’ve risked the healthiness of my own natural features to change into what society exploits as “necessary to succeed.” However, I’ve come to find that society isn’t always right and it is up to us as bloggers to change how society views us.

If you’re still with me (bless your heart), read on to hear about my experiences with these beauty altering services, my tips for how to use them without ruining your hair/skin/nails, and why I’ve decided to embrace the natural beauty I was gifted.

First up, let’s start with the most common service that almost every woman (and some men) have had at one point in their life. Manicures.

Manicures are great. They can truly help improve your nail beds and overall nail health. However, it is what we put on our actual nail that impacts our nail health. Back when I first began getting my nails done, the nail techs would use glue on tips to your real nail and fill it in with acrylic powder. This process took FOREVER and smelled HORRIBLE. Fast forward 15 years and now we have a new process to have very thick, strong nails…Dip Powder. The claim to fame with this powder is that it is better for your nails than acrylics and helps them grow. While this is true, when the dip comes off my nails they are super long, my nails are also so weak and brittle. This is because it uses the same process as acrylics where the nail tech has to roughen up the top sealant layer of your nail. The dip powder also temporarily dehydrates your nails (you know for however long it’s on for).

I’m not bashing dip powder in the least bit. I’ve done the acrylic thing, the dip thing, and the gel polish thing and in all honesty I probably won’t stop. I love dip powder and how long it lasts (I’ve had it last up to 1 month). However, I’m not going to be one of those bloggers that ALWAYS has my nails done. I know that in order to maintain my nail health, I have to give my nails some breathing room.

My tip for nails: always give your nails time to breathe and recover from the trauma they are put through. Just letting your nails be natural (no polish, no dip, nothing) and have time to recover is key to growing strong healthy nails.

Moving on to our next topic, false eyelashes.

I’ve actually not had salon grade eye lash extensions. I just simply don’t feel like shelling out $200 for extensions and then $80 for refills every 2-3 weeks. However, I did try at home eyelash extensions. I’m not a fan of the strip lashes that you glue onto the top of your eyelashes. I’ve seen too many times these lashes lifting off the lid and looking horrible. But then I saw an ad for the Lashify lashes. These lashes come in small strips called wisps. You use what looks like mascara, apply to your lashes (like mascara) and then adhere the lashes to the underside of your own lashes. This idea intrigued me because it ends up looking so natural and I thought wow there’s no way that will lift off the lashes. Where do I buy? Well, turns out this lash set is like $150 and I was like, yeah, no I’m good. But then, I saw a fellow blogger talking about this lash kit by Kiss called falscara lashes. This kit is similar to the Lashify brand but for a fraction of the cost. I was like “yes, sign me up!”

So I bought the lash kit. I put them on and I felt like a QUEEN. My lashes were long and beautiful and you couldn’t even tell I had fake lashes. With extreme care, these lashes lasted about a week for me. I was diligent about not washing my eyes or getting my face wet in the shower. When washing my face I washed around the eye area and used a make-up remover wipe to take off any eye makeup. To say I was impressed by the longevity of these lashes is an understatement. But then, on the last day, one came off and I realized it was time to remove them and start again. During the removal process, I noticed SO MANY lashes coming off on my wipe. I evaluated the wisps and it appeared all of the lashes were accounted for on them so that only meant one thing…these were my own lashes! Yes, I ended up losing a bunch of my own long beautiful lashes when trying to remove the fake ones. I have no proof of these but I assume the loss of lashes is due to two reasons, 1) wearing them for an extended period of time and 2) the bond that you use. I think that the bond, because it covers your entire lash like mascara, had caused a bad reaction by my own lashes that ended up damaging them and making them fall out prematurely. The fact that I wore them for 6 days straight probably didn’t help either.

While I may use these lashes again someday, I probably won’t leave them on for a week. I’ll wear them for the day and then take them off to allow my natural lashes to breathe and get a good cleaning. The lashes themselves aren’t that difficult to apply and will probably become easier over time. So I’m not concerned in the amount of time it may take to apply them every day.

My tip for lashes: if your using do it yourself lashes just remove them at night. Clean your entire face and rid it of all impurities. Allow your lashes to breath and recover from the stress of all the gunk.

 Lastly, let’s talk about the REAL reason I began writing this post. Hair extensions.

Before I go into my experience with extensions, let me talk a little about my own real hair. When I was in high school I actually had pretty thick, very textured hair. I had the kind of hair that would take HOURS to air dry. It would dry with this weird half kinky, half curly, frizzy look. It was never the kind of hair I could just wash and go. It always needed styled. Enter the hair dryer, the flat iron, the curling irons, and all other styling tools imaginable. Over time my thick locks began to thin out. By my senior year of college I had hair that was half the thickness it used to be. It didn’t look fantastic long. It still had a lot of texture but now just dried stringy and straw like if not styled immediately. I’m not sure what caused the shift in hair type, whether it was too much styling, too much washing, stress, genetics, poor diet, environment or all of the above. Regardless, I became very unhappy with my hair.

Fast forward to post-partum. Around 4 months PP I had SO much PP hair loss that I seriously thought I’d go bald before it stopped. Fortunately, that lasted maybe a month and a half. The hair loss slowed and new hair began to grow. YAY! By month 18, I had grown my hair from just above my shoulders to about 3 inches below my shoulders. It was still so thin and fine and didn’t do ANYTHING. I had wanted to try extensions for a really long time at this point, so, I bit the bullet and did it. I got tape in extensions for the very first time.

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After the appointment, I walked out of the salon feeling like a brand new woman. My hair was so thick and long. It was reminiscent of my high school days and I LOVED it.

7 Weeks had past and it was time for my extensions to be pushed up. I had done some research and knew that during this process my hair would feel thinner and it would appear as though I was losing a lot of hair when the stylist was taking the extensions out. Given that these extensions were in my hair for 7 weeks this made total sense to me. Normally you shed around 100 strands of hair a day. Multiply that over 7 weeks and that is 4,900 strands of hair. Typically you don’t even notice this shedding because it happens throughout the day, when you brush your hair, or when you sleep. You just don’t see the strands fall out. However, extensions hold these shed hairs onto your head until the tape is removed. All of this made total sense to me and I was prepared to be shocked.

Now, moving forward, before you freak out, remember that this is just MY story and does NOT happen to everyone.

The appointment came and it was time for the moment of truth. My main question was, is my hair still okay? I said to myself, I know it’ll be thinner but is it still okay?

Well what I saw was jaw dropping and alarming. My hair was SO SO thin. Even more so than when I experienced PP hair loss. I was FREAKING out. My biggest concern was whether I was experiencing actual hair loss or just a thinning of the ends of the strands due to the thinning technique used to blend my real hair with the extensions. I felt that it was probably a little of both but most likely due to the thinning shears and all would be okay. So, I continued with my appointment and had the extensions put back in. This time I did ½ of what I had before and only put them on the lower portion of my head. I figured this would give me some length/volume but be less strain on my own hair.

When I got home that evening I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right with my hair. I thoroughly inspected it and discovered that the areas where the extensions previously were was EXTREMELY thin and in some cases slightly balding. Imagine my reaction to this! I was MORTIFIED. For an hour I was balling to my husband that I wanted them out and couldn’t believe I spent so much money on something that has made me start to go bald. I just couldn’t believe this experience. I questioned how so many other girls could wear extensions and not have ANY issues at all. Yet here I am, first time, and I’m balding because of it.

I called the salon the next day to have them re-removed. When I got there, my stylist urged me to wait at least a week because the bonds on the tape were so fresh that it could potentially cause more damage than it would save if we attempted to remove them that day. So we opted to cut the extensions to lessen the load on my own hair and back home I went with some tips on how to break the bonds down at home to help with easy removal in a week.

That brings us to today. I finally have all extensions removed and yes my hair is SUPER thin. I’m not happy with that but I’m now going to focus on repairing my hair and stimulating more hair growth. We opted for a short blunt bob to even out the lengths of my hair (because of the thinning technique used some strands were super short and that made the bottom of my hair look even thinner).

I will be focusing on using top quality products, oils, and masks to help repair, restore, and encourage hair growth. I also plan to start taking some vitamins that will assist in my nutrition to stimulate healthy hair production. (In case you didn’t know, poor nutrition or lack of essential vitamins can cause hair loss!!) I take a collagen supplement daily (which I think is the main reason I’ve seen tremendous hair regrowth around the temple region where I had the most PP hair loss). I also plan to give my hair a break from all chemical processing and try to use as little heat as possible. I hope that allowing my hair to do its own thing, I can finally regain some of the lost hair.

With all of that being said, I know I’m not at a loss for long beautiful hair. I have done some research and I do know that there are better extension options especially if you have fine, thin, fragile hair like mine. For example, clip-ins and the new halo extensions from Luxy hair are great options. These pieces allow you to have that beautiful thick hair but it is temporary. Just put it on in the morning and remove it at night (or whenever), because these options do not cause the extensions to be permanently attached to your own hair, there is minimal damage done. In all honesty, this is probably the route I would take if I ever decide to get extensions again. I do love the idea that I can remove them at a moment’s notice. I can wash my hair normally EVERY SINGLE TIME and not have to maneuver around the tapes. I can change up my hair when I feel like it without costing me $100 every time.

Another option if I wanted to try it is wigs. If you follow me on Instagram, chances are you’ve been following bloggers/influencers for a while and you’ve heard of Dani Austin. She’s also struggled with hair loss and has shared her journey in discovering how wigs can be empowering. (Check her out if you haven’t already). With all this said, I know it’s not the end of the world. It’s just disheartening that such a thing has happened and moving forward is definitely difficult.

My tip for hair extensions:

1) DO YOUR RESEARCH.

2)Consult with your hairstylist in depth first.

3) Think about what you are about to do to your hair.

4) Consider all of the side effects.

5) And most importantly, make sure you have a very good understanding of your hair’s health state before applying the extensions. I honestly think that a big part of my issue is that my hair was already dry, damaged, and brittle. It literally just could not hold up to the task I was requiring of it when I applied so much weight to it.   

Moral of the story here is that while it is fun to play around with your looks, nothing beats just being yourself. Bloggers/influencers truly do feel the pressure to be the best, most perfect version of themselves and that in and of itself can cause so many issues.  By doing something just because your favorite blogger/influencer does, means you aren’t staying true to yourself. Now if you love the extensions, the fake eyelashes, the nails, the botox, the… whatever….then by all means do what works for you. Just remember that at some point, these services will add up and eventually cause damage to whatever you are altering. So always give that part of you a break. It’s like working out. You have to have rest days in order to recover, otherwise, you end up with an injury. If you don’t give your hair, skin, nails time to recover it’ll become irreversibly “injured.”

As for me and my self-care routine, I still love a good manicure and a glammed up face is my jam. But I’m going to respect my body and love it just the way god intended. After all, if you don’t love yourself in your raw natural form, how do you expect anyone else to?

“The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are.” -Goldie Hawn